I live for the band Barenaked Ladies. My love affair with them began many years ago, but my “concentrated focus” ramped up since the release of their children’s album, Snacktime! Concentrated focus, as my BNL friends will tell you, sounds much healthier than obsession. Barenaked Ladies is a smart, clever, exceptionally talented band whose music makes me giddy beyond words. Incredibly, they are wonderfully nice human beings. I’ve had the good fortune to have met them twice, and they couldn’t have been nicer. For a time I considered creating a blog titled, Why Ed Robertson Would Make a Better Husband Than Yours. In it, I envisioned posting some of the dingbat things my husband does, which of course Ed would never do because he’s so funny, creative, smart. . . It’s possible I need a 12-step program for my “concentrated focus,” but that is another post. I’m a fan.
My favorite song is titled, Did I Say That Out Loud? by Barenaked Ladies. My favorite lyric from it goes, “don’t know what’s got a hold of me, it’s greater than gravity,” and to me, that lyric speaks to that head-over-heels feeling you get when you first meet and subsequently know you have found the one, the one you love and know you can’t live without. It speaks to love that’s incalculable and cannot be adequately conveyed in words. That’s how I felt about my husband when we began dating, and it still captures my love for him and for our family.
When we learned this week that our son has muscular dystrophy, the phrase greater than gravity took on additional depth–my love for him is in fact greater than gravity. I feel like I must and WILL do everything I can, defying nature if it’s necessary, to take care of him. We are looking at an entirely new world of people and a brand new lexicon as he begins to undergo the tests that will provide a differential diagnosis. I feel like I’ve been smacked upside the head with a sledgehammer while that light bulb finally, after years of flickering, clicked on just as the sledgehammer began its pummeling.
While I’m physically and emotionally exhausted this week, I know for a certain 11-year-old, I will have to find strength that is greater than gravity. Wish me luck.