It’s not like I forgot my son has Muscular Dystrophy. I’m not that kind of airhead. I haven’t focused on my son’s disease here too much of late. Maybe some of you are thinking my blog has lost a bit of its focus. It has. But come on, you know me well enough by now to know that I have but a passing acquaintance with the beaten path. Plus, the fact of the matter is that writing here has soothed my anguished heart, and distractions are a gift. My mom heart of blissful unawareness will never be whole again. Ever. But the despair I felt for a good while is subacute these days. These days I write to amuse and entertain myself, and hopefully one or two of you as well.
They say music soothes the savage beast. So does writing. So I wrote. I write.
And most days, as the kids say, it’s all good, yo. But then this arrives, and you go, “Well, shit.”
Oh yeah, that’s right. . . we’re part of the MDA “family” now. We get these publications now. We get information from this wonderful organization we hate having the affiliation with. No, not hate. Not hate. You guys, the work they do? Whoa.
The “I’m writing about whatever thing leaps to mind” these days stops in a flash and I’m transported back to Day One. To the day marking our before and after. After, as I’m completing my son’s field trip permission, waiver, insurance and health forms for his class trip to Washington, DC, I have to complete the Illness/Medical Conditions column and the Necessary Accommodations column. *sigh* It’s not that I forgot. Obviously. It’s that sometimes life forces me to remember consciously and pointedly.
I remember quite distinctly sitting down at our computer to compose my first blog post. I was terrified. But I was distracted from my sorry state, and that was good. Never for a moment did I think I’d title this home away from home anything other than Greater Than Gravity. It’s a lyric, THE lyric in my favorite song, the line that made my tummy do flips the first time I heard it, the line I once thought and sometimes still do think I’d have tattooed on me somewhere, and the one that can’t suppress my smile when I hear it. Every time.
I’m a complete geek for my band, not apologetic for that, and only slightly apologetic for hijacking someone else’s words from a sweet little pop love song for my project here. I had no idea what I was doing when I began here, only slightly clearer an idea nearly two years in, but the words stuck: Love. It’s greater than gravity. When I get mail like I did yesterday, those words are the lifesaver tossed into the choppiest sea of my emotions. I barely catch hold of that lifesaver, but I got it. I got it. And I hang on.
You don’t have to get it for you. I get it for me. That’s enough.