I Miss

I miss being an automobile passenger

I miss not being in a constant state of heightened awareness

I miss the perfectly ridiculous/ridiculously perfect lasso dance

I miss having a handyman to repair the long list of items damaged, dying, or dead since the accident (reading lamps, automobile mirrors, window screens, door glass panels, car batteries, gutters, overhead light pulls)

I miss his smile

I miss the boisterous, sassy cacophony that my three trash-talking, wrestling boys can generate, four boys I guess when the dog joins the fracas

I miss running errands whenever

I miss receiving his full paycheck, with the overtime that can build during the summer months’ long daylight

I miss feeling like I can answer, “How are you?” honestly

I miss asking others how they are

I miss the safety of a hug so tight it’s almost hard to breathe

I miss when I thought muscular dystrophy was the toughest thing I would ever have to face

I miss watching all seven innings of my son’s baseball games

I miss before

16 thoughts on “I Miss

  1. Prayers that you and the boys get back the normalcy that was before the accident. If I knew of any encouraging kind of words to say I would repeat them over and over again until they came to fruition.. sorry I can’t be there to help.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You’re helping. Every good thought and kind word helps. Even when I’m off my game and more than a little self-involved, I know I’ve got good people. Thank you so much.

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  2. I so wish that I could turn back time for you Wendy. I know that words can not change how you feel, but know that you guys are in everyone’s thoughts and prayers. The miracles of medicine may bring that smile back to Tom’s face, if not, I’m sure his eyes will still smile if his mouth cannot.
    Patience is difficult when life is hard. Time will heal. Hang in there. I love you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Even when I’m feeling lousy, I do know that I’m surrounded by terrific people, I truly do. I still love to see him smile, even if it’s only with half his face for now. He is showing improvement, and I can’t help but be optimistic, even if I don’t show it outwardly. xoxo Miss you and love you too!

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  3. It is surely cold comfort, Wendy, but since you can’t do anything about those things you miss, it’s at least healthy that you acknowledge you miss them, and that you express that ache openly. Too often we curb the expression/articulation of painful emotion — from others and even ourselves — and it is no small feat of courage and catharsis that you are willing to do otherwise this publicly and candidly. You are an inspiration.

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  4. I agree with Sean P. Carlin. Your honesty about your feelings is good and healthy. You are handling all this with way more grace than you give yourself credit for.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Hi Wendy. I’ve been reading your blog for a few years now and feel like I’ve gotten to know you well. You are always so articulate at expressing your feelings. I think you are doing a terrific job with your family issues as most others have told you. I have been struggling with MD for about 62 years and can relate to a lot of the topics you write about, many times getting a good laugh. It’s OK to have a down day from time to time you’re only human. Pick a time in the near future when the family is safe and resting and take your dog to another room with you, pour yourself a glass of wine or favorite libation, put on a BNL album or CD or cassette or 8 track whatever your preference and chill for an hour or so or maybe longer☺️

    Liked by 2 people

    • You DO know me well! Thank you very much for commenting, and sharing your MD history too. All my best to you as you navigate this crazy world (metaphorical and physical world at that!). Thanks too for the opinion that I’m doing a better job than I’d certainly give myself credit for. The highest compliment I can receive is knowing I made someone laugh, and I’m so happy to know I’ve made you laugh. Something about that being the best medicine, right???

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