I’m pleased and then some to report that Son Number One did not sully the charter bus lavatory en route to D.C. No, no, I received a text from the boy Sunday evening from somewhere in Pennsylvania telling me “an eighth grader locked himself in the bathroom. LOL. LMAO.” You text LMAO to your mom, kid?? It’s OK. Here’s how I responded, because I’m classy like that.
Mother of the Year applications are out and my fingers crossed, because 2017 is MY YEAR, yo. I love Bitmojis, but I feel that my Bitmoji is much cuter than I am in real life, and I’d hate for anyone to think I hold myself in such high regard. I assiduously avoided using Bitmoji Wendy for months for that reason. Yes, that is entirely true, and yes, I have given it that degree of contemplation. I need a life.
I’m obsessed with a new song, well, a new-to-me song. If you have a son you adore and a spouse you love to the moon and stars and back, listen to Donovan Woods’ What They Mean. I cried, literally cried the first 43 times I listened to it. It’s sweet, and will make you fall in love with your son the same way you did the first time ever you heard his tiny heart beat through that monitor. I saw Donovan Woods last month with my little one sitting next to me. It was the first time I’d heard this beautiful little 3-act story set to music, and with my little guy right there next to me, my eyes leaked. With my big kid gone this week, I’ve been slightly sentimental, just slightly. . . Just listen to this. *sigh*
What They Mean will lead the “My Kid Is Gone For Five Days On His Class Trip And I’m Feeling A Bit Too Sentimental This Week Because Of It” playlist. Gotta work on the title, but I have KILLER tracks.
Next up is Blue Oyster Cult (see how I avoided the umlauts?) Don’t Fear the Reaper. Because “More Cowbell.” After weeping my way through Track 1, we need to get this party started. And my kid loves the Christopher Walken/Will Ferrell SNL skit, so I’m all smiles now thinking about it. It’s never not funny. Watch it here. You’ll laugh, I promise. I got a fevah, and the only prescription is more cowbell. Jimmy Fallon loses it, and there’s little that makes me laugh harder than someone trying to suppress theirs.
Thoroughly charming, but not as straight-up comical as BOC is Allergies. Barenaked Ladies’ album Snacktime! saved my life when the kids were small. It was released at the moment I was as near to pulling out all my hair from mega-doses of The Wiggles, Greg & Steve, and anything airing on the Disney Jr. cable network as I would approach. It was just yesterday that I was driving the boys to day care in our superbadass white Chrysler Town & Country listening to that album, wasn’t it? Maybe last week or so?? It’s clever, and because my big kid had allergies, this song got a lot of play. So did Crazy ABCs. J for jalapeno, good in either corn or flour. . . tortillas. . . nice rhyme.
When we brought home Jack Johnson’s album of songs to accompany the movie Curious George, my son inserted the CD, perched himself atop our coffee table and strummed his acoustic guitar along with the soundtrack. He listened to the album, start to finish, “playing” along in its entirety. It opened with Upside Down, and I still enjoy that song as it evokes memories of my little blondie whose eyes were still blue. (They’re green now.)
Doesn’t every kid go through their emo-80s phase between the ages of 4-5? Just mine? For a spell, he was heavy into The Cure, and his favorite song was A Forest. I must’ve heard that song 300 times that summer. He is his mother’s child, and if a song owns you, you listen. Often. Always. You don’t get to pick, you just listen because you’re under its spell.
We interrupt this semi-cohesive playlist to wish you a Merry Christmas. I’d be remiss if I omitted these two songs simply because they’re Christmas songs, and since it’s my I miss my kid playlist, I get to pick. He loved It’s Christmastime Again by Tom Petty and giggled like a little elf over Donde Esta Santa Claus? by Straight No Chaser. Ho, ho, ho, mamasita!
Lost Highway and Love’s The Only Rule by Bon Jovi come next. Bon Jovi played a critical role in my coming of age back in the mid-late 80s, and I just loved that my child loved their music too. Once my little stinker graduated from acoustic to electric guitar, he hammered out the solos in these tunes. And by hammered out I mean strummed along, definitely not plugged in. He has as much guitar knowledge now as he did then (exactly none), but what he lacked in musicianship, he made up for with passion and commitment known only to obsessive 4-year-olds.
Globetrot from the Silverball album is next. This one is for me alone because, hello? Road trip. Globe trotting. And also because it contains one of my favorite wrong lyrics of all time: I want gravy on satisfaction. Still think mine works better. Sorry, Ed.
Amsterdam by Imagine Dragons transitions us toward the home stretch here. We both love the song, and we laughed in horror at an Impractical Jokers punishment where two of the guys had to improvise a concert opening up for Imagine Dragons. Dressed like 80s hair band rejects. It was naked humiliation, OK, spandex humiliation, in front of an audience of 14,000 rain-soaked and pissed off fans. They opened by thanking the Imagination Dragons for the opening slot, and were soundly booed. We laughed til it hurt, and we still almost always refer to the band as Imagination Dragons.
Did I Say That Out Loud? Because it’s greater than gravity. Love.
Last up is Take Us Home by Alan Doyle. I love this song, and every time my big kid asks to pick songs when we’re driving he chooses it because he knows I love it and I love that.
I miss my boy is all.